Episode 47: The Furies

 Woooo we made it to season three! I feel so accomplished. Let's do this thing! Oh, and we have commentary for this episode. This is going to be done by Rob Tapert and Liz Friedman. I find Tapert to be a little boring in commentaries just because he's not super personable, but I like Liz Friedman - she got her start as a producer/writer on Hercules and Xena and then went on to do cool stuff in other shows like Orange is the New Black and House and Jessica Jones. She also is an out lesbian and I feel like that gives us some spectacular subtext in any of her specific episodes so basically she's great!

We open on the Furies dancing all provocatively while Ares looks on and Liz rightfully says it's like a medieval strip club. It's definitely got that vibe.

Hahaha they are talking about how many push up bras they had to use throughout the series and it's in the thousands and I believe it! All these ladies boobs, while they look fantastic in the various costumes, definitely don't look natural. Uh oh, the Furies are cursing Xena with madness! We get some amazing comedy out of Lucy Lawless in this episode, I'm so excited!

I'm not really sure about all the plot because I'm both listening to the commentary and the dialogue, but here are some generic baddies to fight for some reason and can we just focus on how Xena holds her sword. So GAY.

Yay here comes crazy Xena! This is the most ridiculous fight scene, it is very Three Stooges which according to the commentary is what they were going for. Lawless does such a freaking fantastic job being crazy and silly. Look at her twirling her chakram like a toy and eating an apple impaled on a knife. What a goof!

She's also calling Gabrielle Mavis for some reason?? Which apparently Lucy came up with on her own out of the blue and everyone on set just rolled with it. Oh they are talking in the commentary about how a lot of people were confused by the show Xena because it was often both a comedy and a drama and a lot of things at the time were more either or. That's one of the things I love about this show, is that it has a great level of silliness and campiness but also wonderful character development and really touching moments.

Ok so a little plot here, Gabby obviously can tell something is up with Xena, but Xena being all nuts is refusing to go figure out what it is and poor Gabby is so fed up. It's great stuff.

Ru-roh, Xena woke up and got nekkid and is scaring the bejeezus out of some random townsfolk. I mean... I wouldn't mind but you know, that's me. Though I clearly share this thought with Liz Friedman who just said "Well these people are going to die but they've seen Xena naked so..." Exactly, I get you.

Luckily for this town, Gabrielle comes in and saves the day like she do. Poor Xena is getting worse and is starting to feel scared aww :( sad Xena. So they agree to go see the Furies and try and figure out what is going on. Xena finds out her dad was murdered and she has to avenge him or something? I don't really know I'm barely paying attention to the plot. Poor Xena is hallucinating and running through the woods seeing all her past enemies and mistakes Gabrielle for Callisto and ties her up! As Friedman says, fulfilling many people's fantasies hahaha oh Liz you know you've read some fanfiction I can tell.

Tapert, like all straight dudes, "never thought of it that way" - don't worry Rob it's okay. You can't help that you aren't a gay lady. I still like you, plus you know, you are married to Lucy Lawless so good on ya buddy - livin' the dream.

Yay Xena goes to see her momma! I like Momma Xena episodes. Gabby's make up is really weird in this scene, I don't know why. Like it's too dark or something? Anyway, apparently this was a tough episode to shoot and they had to reshoot lots of things because the star and the director didn't get along... hmmmmm iiiiiinteresting. I don't remember who directed this episode, I'm going to check. Ok, Gilbert Shilton...? I have no idea who that is. Looking at IMDB he hasn't done much and what he has done doesn't look great so. Guess that answers that!

Ok ok so some plot things... sounds like Xena finds out that her mom killed her dad? Well that's not going to go well. I like the evolution of her crazy hair as she falls deeper into the Furies madness.

Xena has gotten to the point of wanting to kill herself to try and save everyone from her crazy. But REALLY she is being sneaky, even in her madness, and luring Ares to her since all of this is his fault anyway and on some level she knows this. And she knows that Ares doesn't want her to kill herself, so that's what she threatens to get him out in the open. Look at Kevin Smith's fab hair! In the commentary they are talking about how he was starting to grow it out and was very proud of it. Aw, we miss you bud.

So through some great subtle manipulation the plot moves on. Xena convincing Ares that he has convinced her that she has to kill her mom in front of the Furies. Whew! So many layers. As Friedman says, "that was just Xena playing Ares like a fiddle". Yuuuuuup.

Gabrielle is visiting an insane asylum for some reason? I don't know, probably trying to get some info that will help Xena later on. Anyway, we are at the climactic scene here in the Temple of the Furies where Xena is supposedly going to kill her mom. A little gratuitous Furies snap shot for us all.

I like those outfits, I want one. Gabrielle arrives at the Temple to try and stop Xena and Ares grabs her by the hair and puts his hand over her mouth! Rude!! It's okay though, Xena is in control here even though she is crazy, she always is one step ahead of Ares. Ok, she's a lot of steps ahead of Ares, let's be real.

This fight scene between Ares and Xena is fun, they have to fight without touching the floor for some weird reason, but it's great. Quality stuff ya'll.

Xena wins, of curse she does, and her victory dance is the best thing EVER. If you don't remember it, do yourself a favor and look up a gif of it or something, it's lovely.

Yay the Furies take the madness off her and she's back to normal! Glad to have you back Xena. Her hair is back to normal now too. She has a heart to heart with her mom and sets up camp with Gabby and everything is good in Xena-land.

*Xena's sanity was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. The Furies, however, will be opening their own lap-dancing variety show off-off-off Broadway soon.*