Episode 29: Return of Callisto

Back by popular demand! CALLISTO!

So this episode marks the beginning of video commentaries on my box set special features. These happen at irregular intervals depending on how significant/awesome the episode is. I'm going to incorporate any fun commentary type things and entertaining screen caps right along with the regular episode. Enjoy!

Video Commentary by: Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor

So we start off with a jail where the guards are guffawing over their power trips and completely not paying attention to what they are doing. This is a mistake because Callisto is in one of their cells. OH SNAP! She takes advantage of their egos and manages to break out!

Before we get into what happens after she kills every single guard in very unsavory ways, let's focus on this get up they have her in.

As Lucy comments, "Very 'Silence of the Lambs', eh?" Indeed. By the by, her New Zealand accent is simply adorable.

Moving on! Guards are all dead. Callisto is free. We all know where she is going next.

Ok, this episode is so random in it's randomness. First, we have Perdicus show up out of nowhere. You know, that guy Gabby was betrothed to in her hometown. Then, not only has he literally appeared out of thin air, but he proposes to Gabby right off the bat! Um? WHAT? Impulsive much?

Gabby just looks shocked and then turns around to look at Xena who looks equally shocked and a little appalled.

They later have a little chat where Gabby tells Xena of course she is not going to marry Perdicus, but Xena steps in with her wisdom telling her she wants Gabby to be happy blah, blah, blah and so that if it's her holding her back then she has her blessing. BAH!

Meanwhile, in the video commentary, Lucy and Renee are just CRACKING themselves up during this scene. Here are some snippets.

Lucy: "You know, Gabby's well past her prime in terms of getting married."
Renee: "Move on buddy!"
Lucy: "She would have had four kids by now!"
Renee: "Yeah."
Lucy: "Oh, go on [Gabby]. Experiment!"

Now to the "EW" scene. Perdicus and Gabrielle are being wedded. Xena looks tragically jealous. Or as Lucy says, "Yeah, she's a bit jelly." Ha! "Jelly". So cute. Is that a New Zealand thing? It's adorable.So Gabrielle just said I Do and she and Xena have a little private chat about how they are going to miss each other. Then they KISS on the LIPS. Kind of, it's a very tiny peck. BUT STILL. They kiss.Now, it's a really touching and tender moment, and the first time our subtexty soul mates kiss for REAL. However, in the video commentary Lucy and Renee are just DYING with giggles and they are so cute and hilarious I just have to crack up instead of being all Awwwww about it.

Basically, neither of them have any recollection of this kiss. They are just so shocked as they are watching it and they start giggling like fools and Renee in particular is just like, "Wow! What the? I don't remember that!" and power blushing like crazy.

Lucy is all, "Xena slipped her the tongue! What's going on there? Xena's recruiting! (sarcastically) I can't imagine why people thought there was subtext in this."

Bahahahaha, that's some great stuff. Lucy and Renee are just utterly hilarious.

Ok, ok, back to the actual show. Both Gabby and Xena look a little down about this whole marriage thing. Then we have to have some gross scene about Perdicus and Gabby's honeymoon night. BLECH! Even Lucy and Renee are covering their eyes!

Lucy: "Oh, no! No. That's horrifying! I don't want to see that."
Renee: (covering her face) "No, no, no, no. Okay, come on. Let's go back to Xena and Joxer now."
Lucy: "This is painful to me."

See? No one wants to see that.

Luckily, the next morning Callisto saves us all from our agony by killing Perdicus. Yay! This might be one of the reasons I love Callisto. It's a definite possibility.

Gabrielle goes all revenge crazy and tries to force Xena to teach her how to use a sword so she can kill Callisto. Xena refuses at first but then gives her the basics because she can tell Gabby is going to do try and do this no matter what. Gabby starts talking about how she's going to cut Callisto open and watch her bleed. Basically, Gabby has gone a liiiittle psycho.

Sooooo she goes off to try and kill Callisto, and she fails miserably. Who saw that coming? Everyone? Yeah. So, Xena comes to save her and some plot things occur and eventually Gabby is saved and Xena and Callisto are engaged in a chariot race to the DEATH!

They wind up crashed into some quick sand. Callisto is all excited about the both of them dying and getting to spend eternity together. Always the optimist that one.

BUT HOLD UP! Xena is clever and gets herself out. Now Callisto is begging her to get her out too. Does she? NOPE. Xena watches Callisto die. WOAH. That's some heavy stuff right there, and it will definitely be coming back to bite her in the ass in some later episodes.

Gabby and Xena stare off into the sunset together as the screen fades to black. Perdicus will be pretty much forgotten in the next few episodes. Good riddance!

This episode is dedicated to Michelle Calvert who was Hudson Leick's stunt double. She died in a boating accident soon after completing this episode.

*Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her unmentionables.*