It's like going back in time! Which is ironically exactly what happens in these first few minutes. FLASHBACK! DEATH! EVIL XENA! By the way if you were expecting "real" recaps... you've come to the wrong place. What we've learned so far: Lucy Lawless looks adorable in her random headband that will disappear in a few episodes.
Carrying on, our first scene with the cuteness that is young Renee O'Connor. Hey! Don't hit my Gabby you evil thug! This is what Xena thinks as she swoops in with her bad ass moves to save the day. This is also our first Xena war cry. Oh, so many glorious firsts.
By the way, if you want to play a super fun drinking game with all your nerdy lesbian pals - here's a fun one. Drink every time... Xena does her trademark yell, Xena and Gabby make googly eyes at each other, Xena and Gabby partake in gratuitous touching. You'll be smashed in no time.
Also, we just met Gabrielle's future husband who is a completely random actor that we will never see again, even when he comes back for some more episodes later on! They do this often. They also reuse actors for multiple roles throughout the series. I love this show.
Blah, blah, blah Draco is a bad guy. I'm bored with him. Moving on! We all really only care about Xena and Gabrielle and their subtextual soul mate love. Am I right?
Sooooooo some stuff happens with a cyclops and more bad guys and Gabby is totally adorable trying to hitch a ride. We meet Xena's mum and she is COMPLETELY awesome and I kind of love her. We also figure out Xena's town and mum kind of hate her. Well that's what happens when you're all evil for a little while! You can't expect loves and kisses right away you know. You need your lady love to help you learn to forgive yourself first. Speaking of...
Here comes the lady love now! Using her quick wit and sharp tongue she convinces the town's people to spare Xena's life. Cause that's what she does. AND NOW! We get our first real scene of subtext and gratuitous touching and the priceless dialogue, "Xena! I could probably get up there behind you..." Of course you could Gabrielle ;) And then there's this, "I came all this way to see you!" Aaaaaaaw, they are so freaking cute. Now, I don't know about you guys, but if someone were to lift me onto their horse I wouldn't feel the need to stroke their thigh as I adjusted myself. UNLESS of course I wanted to hit that. Which Gabby does. Because Xena is her soul mate and totally hot.
Okay, so we have some stuff with Xena's dead brother, and then a way too long fight scene between her and Draco which is only worthwhile because they are fighting while balancing ON TOP OF PEOPLE'S HEADS. What? This show is crazy. I love it.
Yay! More Gabrielle and Xena love! Gabby rambles about excuses for why she is coming to sit at Xena's campfire. All I heard was, "Blah, blah, blah, I love you and I don't want to be without you." THEN! The sentence every budding baby dyke and seasoned lesbian can relate to, "I'm not the little girl that my parents wanted me to be." Been there Gabby. I feel ya.
Some adorable eye chemistry and smirks happen and the next morning they walk off together with the declaration of friendship. Where will it go from there? Tune in next week!