Episode 13: Athens City Academy of Performing Bards

Oh, boooooooo. This is one of those episodes where they throw in a bunch of clips from past episodes to make it longer. Blerg! Oh, well. Gabby's little voice overs as she tells Xena's stories are pretty cute. Also, it's a Where's Xena? episode. Apparently Lawless needed a break.

So there's this bard competition and random guy of the week tells Gabrielle she should go because she's great. Which she is. This guy's dad is a total jerk head though. "Being a bard is not for young ladies. Stories of housework are just not popular." Oh no he didn't! Now Gabby is definitely going to attend this competition! There's no way she's going to take that crap. To random guy of the week's credit, he looks horribly embarrassed by his dumb father.

Gabrielle is telling Xena about going to the Academy. If she gets in she could be gone for 4-5 years! Sad Face :(

Gabby: "You'd hardly notice I was missing."
Xena: "Even if I had an army around me, I'd still notice you were missing."

There are definitely some googly eyes going on here.

And off she goes! She does some canoodling to get into the competition, because there is this whole registration/fee concept she didn't exactly get around to. The other characters who are in the competition are all really hilarious in their own ways. Their stories show flashbacks to classic movies like "Spartacus". It's some pretty funny stuff.

So, Gabby spends a bunch of this episode coaching the random guy of the week on how to tell stories his own way, and ignore his stupid dad. She is instrumental in making him an awesome bard, who closes his eyes as he tells a story. Sound familiar? It should! In the end we find out random guy's name is Homer, the blind poet. OH SNAP! This is where I learned all my history from. School was useless.

So, Gabby wins the competition. Of course she does. But she decides to turn it down and runs off to find Xena. It's super adorable because Xena is just walking along with Argo and then Gabby runs in screen off from the side and just falls into step beside her saying, "Hi!" like she was never even gone. Because that is where she belongs, right at Xena's side. And Xena just gives her a little smirk and jumps right into conversation. Because they are meant to be together, and they both know it.


Gabby talks about how she doesn't just want to just be telling adventures, she wants to live them! Speaking of, here are some baddies now! Looking for a smack down! Our heroes look so excited. Xena in her "bring it on" face and Gabby with her "this is going to make a great story!" face. This is what they are meant to do, and it is glorious.


*The producers would like to acknowledge and pay tribute to Stanley Kubrick, Kirk Douglas and all those who were involved with the making of the film classic "SPARTACUS". Additional thanks to Steve Reeves.*