Sunday, June 12, 2011

Episode 14: A Fistful of Dinars

Blah, blah, blah this opening is boring me. There's a plot point, I'm sure. All I really care about is that Xena hilariously eats this note/map or something the baddie is trying to get. She swallows it all proudly and then licks her fingers as though it were Gabby. Oh, yes. I went there.

Xena starts to get all jealous of Gabrielle flirting with some guy. It's cute. As usual Gabby doesn't listen to Xena's warnings that he's a jerk. Oh no! Gabby is going to fall off a decrepit bridge and into a raging river of death! NOT! Xena is there to save her, along with some gratuitous belly touching.

So Xena decides to take matters into her own hands with this baddie who keeps trying to seduce Gabrielle. On a side note, without getting too much into plot, you should know that Xena is traveling with these bad guys because there is some sort of treasure they are all after. Obviously for different reasons. But she knows all of them from her past Evil Xena days.

Anyways, back to Xena being all jealous. "You hurt my friend and I will rip your throat out." Over protective much? But it's adorable because it's Xena. It's like when Booth pulled a gun on that mafia guy to protect Bones. ADORABLE. In a slightly over protective way.

So they get into the treasure tomb, or whatever it is. The two baddies are obviously obsessing about the massive amounts of gold, but Xena seems to be looking for something special. Unfortunately one of the baddies gets it first. The key to AMBROSIA! The food of the gods that will make you a god if you eat it. On Xena, it looks like strawberry jello. Mmmmmmm!

He kidnaps Gabrielle and runs off to find the Ambrosia. Gabby! Stop getting yourself kidnapped! Fight, fight, fight, throw the strawberry jello into some boiling magma, kill the baddies, save the day, walk off into the mist with your lady love! Yay!

*No Ambrosia was spilled, spoiled, or in any way harmed during the production of this motion picture. (Thanks to the indefinite shelf life of marshmallows.)*

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