Episode 40: For Him the Bell Tolls

 WHAT!? What is this?? An actual real post about an actual real episode?? 10 years later??? Yes, yes it is. All two of you still reading this can thank the baby gay at my place of work who is watching Xena for the first time and reignited my passion to finish this ridiculous project. So here we go, buckle up, enjoy my dumb stream of consciousness, and awaaaaaaay we go!

Wow I need to get myself back into this world, what even is happening? Okay BOO so we are starting with our two ladies leaving each other RUDE but hey look it's Joxer!! He is silly but I love him, so much so I named my rabbit after him. Anyway, Gabby is over here all "I'm a sidekick, obviously expendable" oh silly Gabrielle you and your cute little face are definitely not expendable.

Walking walking, so much walking in this show. Yeah Xena would guard your rear Gabrielle bahaha. Aww yay it's Aphrodite! I love her, this actress is hilarious. Also oh hey look it's this guy, Karl Urban, who plays various other characters throughout the show and we are just going to pretend he isn't the same actor every time NBD. Started as a goober actor in Xena and now you've been in LotR and Star Trek and look at you go Karl Urban!

Alright so basically the catalyst for the plot this episode is some silly bet going on between Cupid and Aphrodite now involving Joxer as some sort of hero when Aphrodite rings her magical little bell. No one really cares except that Ted Raimi is ridiculous and hilarious in the role of "handsome hero guy" with ladies fawning all over him. Gabby is all of us in this moment.

A bunch of blah blah about plot who even knows. Remember how we don't focus much on plot here okay. And alas there isn't much Xena/Gabrielle time in this episode. Man I've missed this show. The overly dramatic acting, the camp, the utter ridiculousness that is every fight scene. There is just nothing quite like it. So pure and wholesome.

Alexandra Tydings is SO GOOD as Aphrodite. Has she ever even done anything else? I feel like I've never seen her in anything else... clearly this was the role she was meant to be in. An appreciation pic for her shall we? 

This whole episode is basically just Joxer being crazy and Gabrielle chasing him around like WTF is going on? While trying to keep him from getting killed. Where is my Xena?? Where are my ladies side by side sharing subtextual heart eyes and touches???

Ok there is actually a really poignant moment here where Cupid is sulking and Aphrodite talks about how there are different kinds of love, not just happy endings - jealous love, unrequited love, tragic love, etc. And isn't that just the fucking TRUTH. Oh hey I curse here sometimes, heads up.

There is far too much hetero kissing in this episode gross. You and me both Gabby. "Cut it out!!"

Also LOOK at Renee's abs! Such a bad ass. More plot, a bunch of men on horses want to kill Joxer and are slut shaming this poor rando girl who doesn't even know what is going on. Where's a warrior princess when you need her to kick some dude's butts?

I love it every time Joxer sings his own made up theme song. It makes me so happy! I may have adapted his song to fit my rabbit and I maybe sing it to my rabbit randomly while getting ready for work or whatever... ANYWAY Gabrielle goes to confront Aphrodite because of plot things, but the point is that she is all star struck meeting her and Cupid and it's so funny because the gods in this show are all ridiculous.

Gabrielle saves the day by throwing a rock to ricochet off of four different things, including some guys head!? Spectacular nod to Xena and her chakram, spectacular over the top camp, ugh I love this stupid show. And Gabby spitting in her hand and winding up like the gayest of softball players is just *chef's kiss*

Xena!! You're back!! I've missed your beautiful face. Just in time to give a customary feel good pep talk to Joxer and now our girls are reunited FINALLY. Walking off side by side as it should be. Shoutout to my favorite horse Argo - missed you too boo! 

And there we have it! Not the best episode to restart on but there are so many more iconic moments to come and I look forward to sharing them! 

Sidenote: The end credits playing to the tune of Joxer the Mighty's song for this episode is the best.